you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
