You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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