If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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