the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
