Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
