can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
