I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
