to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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