why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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