You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
