i don't plan on having that self control this summer
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
