I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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