hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
