I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Randomize
