i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
