If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
