This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
