wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
