I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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