Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
