Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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