So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
