butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
