Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
