so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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