3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
