Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
