are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
