Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
try to milk me bitch
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