Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
