So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
