haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sext me about skeletons
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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