In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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