Duck Duck Cougar?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
