Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
