i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
