Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
