Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
