he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
