Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize