Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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