She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
