I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
