doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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