If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
