It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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