sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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