i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
