Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
