I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
