I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
